what if i were a helicopter?

I've been neglecting my livejournal. Sorry folks, but for one reason or other, I've been super super busy and I don't like it very much. I'd like to go back to loitering, if possible. I also really really really want to travel. HELP.
Oh, good news:
1. I got a job.
2. I got accepted for graduate studies.
3. I'm taking German lessons again.

Still an insomniac and still very moody, but I think being super super busy all the time is getting my mind of things, which is nice.
I really do miss you all, cyber friends.

I called up my ex lad a couple of days ago, even though we decided not to talk since we tried to be friends and it obviously didn't work out. It was fun, we had interesting conversations and it was not at all awkward. He said he'd call Friday to hang out during the weekend, even though I was not planning on seeing him. Today is Friday. He did not call. I am not exactly bothered by it, it just leaves me in disbelief that after all of these godforsaken years he still has not changed. I always expect to be mistaken on the matter, but he always seems to live up to his reputation. It makes me sad.

I've been taking walks a few times a week, and I can honestly say it's been good for me. So yes. Good good. Still feeling a little stuck though, I just seem to have lost complete faith in humankind (on a worldly level, not a personal one) and that really scares me. I mean, what do I do about it?

Ok.

Ok, so all these weirdo Russian people keep adding me as their friend here on LJ, and I don't get it. I can't read Russian, ok? Please stop adding me. You are flooding my inbox. Leave me the bloody hell alone.

Right.

I've been having this strange need to get completely wasted everytime I have alcohol. And that scares me quite a bit. Not that I have alcohol often, but when I do, I just keep drinking. Mmmm.
I am in need of some kind of personal rehabilitation; lately I feel as though I have lost sense of who I am/was/aspire to be, and I'm stuck in this little shithole of the moment and I feel weird and uncomfortable about it and it's not who I am. Also not good.